Book Title: On The Edge of Shattered: A Mother’s Experience of Discovering Freedom Through Sobriety by Kimberly Kearns
Category: Adult Non-Fiction (18+), 252 pages
Genre: Non-Fiction, Memoir, Self-Help
Publisher: Glass Spider Publishing
Release date: November 2022
Formats Available for Review: print-softback (USA only), ebook (PDF)
Tour dates: Nov to Nov 28, 2022
Content Rating: PG-13 + M: Intended for adults only, contains information on alcoholism
Before she stopped drinking for good, Kim was lying to herself and everyone she knew about her daily habit—sneaking morning sips of vodka behind her husband’s back, emptying bottles of wine and hiding the evidence from her family, and convincing herself that nothing was wrong and everything was under control. Until she realized that it wasn’t, and that her dishonesty could cost her everything she loved. What would happen to her marriage if things continued in this way? And how could she be a mother to her young children if she remained trapped in this cycle of abuse? Deciding she had to make a change, Kim threw herself into a new life of sobriety seven months into the Covid-19 pandemic. But only after severing the chains of bondage did she realize how much work there was still to do. Opening the doors to buried memories and past traumas was only the beginning. Throughout her journey to sobriety, Kim would come to terms with the secrets and lies told by her parents and loved ones, allowing her a clarity and freedom she never before thought possible.
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Kimberly Kearns is a wife to an incredible husband and a mother to three beautiful children. She currently lives in Need-ham, Massachusetts. She continues to tell her story of sobriety and inspire others every day on her blog at kimberlykearns.com, and through her Instagram account @asoberandstrongmom. Kimberly co-hosts the podcast The Weekend Sober and is a writer for the Webby Award-winning narrative podcast F*cking Sober: The First 90 Days. Writing has always been an escape for Kimberly, even as a little girl. Being able to express herself in words and getting lost in her imagination has served as a source of comfort to her as far back as she can remember.
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Author Q&A -
By Kimberly Kearns
There are many books out there about sobriety, what makes yours different?
This memoir is not just a story about quitting alcohol, but it also tells the story of my life. It is a braided narrative that takes the reader both forward and backwards in time. You learn about the early days of sobriety, but you also are forced to confront some of the traumas of my past, that I’m forced to deal with by not drinking. The reader can feel what it is like in the early days of sobriety.
How long have you been writing?
I have been writing creatively since I was a little girl. I used to write stories about my pets, favorite sports and friends, as soon as I learned how to hold a pencil.
What made you write a book?
The day I stopped drinking alcohol was the day I began blogging and writing about my experiences with sobriety. Those blog posts inspired me to start digging deeper, and then I realized I want to write about my past and turn it into a book to help others.
What hobbies do you enjoy?
I love sports and being active. I play golf, tennis and pretty much anything outside. I will ski, fish, waterski, rollerblade, rock climb, anything that involves being active - I will try it. And my kids always challenge me to go higher and faster!
What’s the most courageous thing you have ever done?
The most courageous thing I ever did was admit to my husband that I needed to stop drinking.
What’s next for you?
I plan to work on expanding my sober coaching business. I want to help people both locally and remotely quit drinking.
More from the Author
I look at my eleven-year-old son and sometimes my heart aches. He is tall and gangly, his limbs long and thin. He is in middle school now, the unkindest years of any kid's life.
Watching him get off the bus with his ripped sweatpants and backwards hat he smiles when he sees me. He still has pizza sauce on his chin from lunch three hours before. How can he not feel that crusty stuff on his face? But he hugs me and greets me as he always does, just as happy to see me as any other afternoon. And I melt into him.
I beg this child to stop getting older, and I wish for time to slow down just a tiny bit. Because at times, I recognize the insecurities that he exudes in the shuffle of his feet and the biting of his fingernails. At his age, I remember how it felt to want to be a part of something, but not know how to find the confidence or the words to assert myself.
I have seen his awkwardness and his desire to fit in. I know that urge to want to be included. I have felt it as an adult, time and time again. I watch his eagerness and anticipation to be accepted into groups or invited to places with friends, and I have witnessed his disappointment and sadness when he has been excluded from activities and parties. I have experienced that as well, as an adult. I know how you feel, buddy, I tell him. We’ve all been there.
He is curious and wants me to explain to him what I mean. “How mom?”
When I stopped drinking, some people just didn’t want to be around me anymore. It’s hard for some people to have fun around a person that isn’t drinking. It makes them question their own behavior.
He nods. He gets it and always appreciates my vulnerability.
He is straddling that deep canyon; one foot in the world of immaturity and naivety, the other attempting to pull him fully towards puberty and becoming a teenager. Perhaps part of him wants to stay little, in the safety of boyhood, while the other wants to explore the curiosity and excitement he feels when talking to the pretty girl down the street.
I fear for him as he embarks on this journey that is middle school, as these years of insecurity were where my need to escape and hide ultimately began. The urge to repair the discomfort of being unhappy with myself and how others perceived me were born during this time in my life.
I can only hope that as a sober, present mother, I can be a strong and confident role model for him. I can show him what it means to make mistakes and grow from them. I want him to see that we cannot hide from ourselves, but that the truth will find us. We must be kind, honest and authentic. You don’t always have to follow along with the crowd, but you can be your own person. That will bring you greater joy than anything else. And above all else, we cannot let the judgment of others rule how we live our lives.
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